I found this list of fun writing prompts on Silk and Sonder so I thought it would be funny to share my answers here.  But these are great for sparking ideas in memoir writing, too.  Here are the questions (and my answers):

To know where you're going, you have to know where you've been.  We're going to make an anachronistic map of our childhood home(s).  This means you're going to make one picture that will represent your home (if you have more than one, then you will pick the parts that meant the most to you from each one).  So many parts of my childhood home are now different, so it's nice to remember what used to once be and I can revisit it at any time by looking at my map.

Imagine your life as a house, complete with all the floors and rooms of a regular house (some are as big as a mansion).  For this prompt, I want you to think of all the rooms and levels your "Life House" has.  A basement (we all have those), a kitchen, a laundry room, a bathroom, an exercise room, bedrooms, offices, foyers, dining rooms, etc.  Then decide which one means what to you. 

The basement is where we put things we don't want to think about.  It's our subconscious areas where our deepest memories are stored, where our trauma is stored, where all the unpleasant stuff likes to hide, like fear and sadness.  The attic is where our good memories are stored.  It's where we place things we're putting on hold until later are kept.  It's where we go when we want to reminisce.  

Other than those two levels, what do the rooms mean to you?  

You can do this prompt at the same time as my Anachronistic Map of Your Home prompt, but more so, this is our special house.  It's not one we share with others and is wholly representative of just ourselves.  We can design the house any way we want to (feel free to draw this out as you go).  What does the kitchen mean to you?  Is it about cooking?  Conversations?  Certain memories?  Or it just representative of nourishment?  How do we nourish ourselves?  What about the bathroom?  It could represent self-care, but it also could represent certain memories as well.  What about the dining room?  It could represent eating, but it also could represent family traditions.  The bedroom could mean romantic relationships or you can be like SARK and write a whole book about napping!  You can put as many rooms and levels as you like, but know that it should have a basement and an attic.  But other than that, design to your liking!  (I love coming up with house designs and then making them in the Sims games so I can see them in 3D).  

Once you have the rooms down, design the rooms the way you like them.  What colors would you pick and why?  What style of décor?  

Remember, your house is a depiction of your actual life.  Not your dream home.  Not yet.  That comes next.

Because what if you design your house the way your life is now, and you find that some of the rooms are shabby or neglected?  Or, what if your whole house is that way? 

It's time to renovate!  (Or demolish and rebuild, in case of entire house destruction.)

What areas of your house are lacking and make you feel bad?  What do you want to change?  

Remember, this is your house.  You can do whatever you like with it.  If you want a whole new front porch?  Then do it.  Figure out what part of your porch makes you feel the worst and tackle that in real life.  Do you wish to entertain more?  Be more open?  Have more friends?  Or whatever your porch (or whatever room you've picked) means to you, tackle that in real life.  Make a renovation plan, and make your steps to fix it.  Then draw yourself a new porch on your "Life House"!  

How does this relate to memoir writing?  Well, all of this or any of this can be included in your memoir.  Especially your renovations.  Each step you take is important to write about and keep track of, so make sure you're keeping a "Life House" journal, so you can later put these things into your memoir writing.  Or maybe just the memories will be enough to throw in there, too.  Whatever you choose to do with this, even if nothing (other than making it), it will give a good top-down view of your life (I have other ways of doing this, too).  And you can see what is lacking and what maybe is too much for you right now.  And you can make a new house every time you feel you've grown or changed.  You could make a whole book full of them, cartoon style (or any art style) and that could be your memoir itself!

I just love making shit, so I thought I'd share the shit I like to make here 😉.  I hope it helps you on your writing journey!  

Here is a great worksheet to print out to use when trying to plan out your memoir, using the "House Metaphor": 

If you make one and want to share it, please do so below!  I'd love to see it!  

Here are some more fun writing exercises for your memoirs!  

1. The 10-7-5 Exercise: This is a great writing exercise that will help jumpstart you on your memoir journey.  It comes from Dr. Phil (who's kind of a weenie, but whatever) who states you can trace who you've become in your life by these three different external factors: ten defining moments, seven critical choices, and five pivotal people.  Even though your numbers may be different than these, you can use them as a starter.  So begin with writing 1-10, then 1-7, then 1-5.  Then start brainstorming your top in each one.  After you're done brainstorming, then start fleshing out each one.  Write as much as you can, and when you're done, see where each one can fit into your memoir (if any).  Check out Dr. Phil's page here that explains each one: Defining Your External Factors. 
2. Rites of Passage: Make a list of your biggest rites of passage. 
3. Archetypes: Everyone has an archetype.  Most of us have many.  
4. Food: How did you share and create food in your family?  
5. Physical Environment: What was important about your physical environment?
6. Your Body Tells a Story: What's your body story?  What were you told about your body?  
7. Celebrities: Who was important to you and why?
8. Shadow Work:  What do you hate in others that you really hate about yourself?
9. Sensory Impressions: What was missing?  What did you have an abundance of? 
10. Family Traditions: What were your most important family traditions and did those things shape your life?
11. Write a Letter: to your younger self.  What would you say?  Write several letters to different ages of yourself.  Tell them all the things you needed to hear back then.  What would have made a huge difference to you?  Those younger versions of you still live inside of you.  Be their safe space and give them a place to flourish, rather than hide and shrink.   
12. Hall of Heroes: Who do you admire and why?  And how do you already embody what you love about them? 
13. BATS: Create a list of your blessings, achievements and talents, no matter how small or large (both the hall of heroes and BATS are from the amazing book "Creating Your Best Life: The Ultimate Life List Guide" by Michael B. Frisch, and Caroline Adams Miller")
14. Fairytales: What are your favorite fairytales and why?  How do they apply to your life?  Give everyone in your life a corresponding fairytale character, and rewrite the story the way you want it to go. 
15. Therapy: You could start your memoir when you start therapy and keep notes at all your therapy appointments and go from there.  Keeping therapy notes in a specific notebook will not only help you write, but also will help you remember everything you've talked about and learned.  

The first step in any memoir writing is having the willingness to open up and be vulnerable.  If you can't, then your memoir is going to kind of suck (well, unless your memoir is about some kind of house rehab, or something else that has nothing to really do with you personally, which is cool, those are fun to read, too).  

But for the rest of us, we have to be willing to showcase our true and whole selves, our nasty parts as well as our good parts.  We have to lay our pain at the feet of our reader, and hope they don't judge us for it.  In fact, we have to know that they will judge us and we have to be able to be okay with that.  It's a scary prospect.  Possibly the scariest thing we'll ever have to do (or, at least, one of the scariest things).  

Life is messy.  Life is cruel.  And we have to know that the ones that judge us for these parts of ourselves we normally hide aren't the ones we're trying to connect to.  I mean, maybe somewhere deep down inside, at a future date, those people will get it.  But the ones we're trying to connect to with our stories are the ones who immediately let go of the breath they weren't aware they were holding in and who soften their shoulders and say "Finally, I'm not the only one, someone else gets it."  Those are the ones we're writing for (although, the person we're truly writing for is ourselves). 

Even if nobody gets it.  Even if nobody cares about what we have to say, it's still worth writing.  It's still worth exploring ideas, and themes, and what voice we're going to use and how we want to convey our deepest hurts, pains, and joys.  It doesn't matter if one person reads it, or a thousand or more.  None of that matters.  What matters is having the bravery to open up ourselves onto the page and pouring out everything we are, even though it may be the most terrifying thing we ever do.  Even though we may stow those stories away somewhere or erase them later, with no one ever seeing it but us.  Even if it's on a private blog or in a notebook somewhere that gets burned after we're done.  Or even if it becomes a bestseller that gets turned into TV show or movie.  Or even if it's just a book a couple people read, and they either love it or hate it.  The issue is not what happens after you write your memoir, it's what happens during.  It's all about pushing yourself to be brave, even when you feel horribly afraid to expose everything that you are and have been up until now.

Yes, my first memoir seemed to be about other people, but in reality, it wasn't.  It's about me.  It's about how much of me was like those assholes around me, and how much I didn't understand them then, but I do now.  It's partially about forgiveness, because I get it now.  But more than me forgiving them, it's about me forgiving myself and coming to terms that nobody is perfect.  It's about how I affected some of these people in my life just as much as they affected me, if not worse.  When we can look deeply into the vast abyss of the soul and swim in the waters without shying away from the hurt, broken, scary, bad, and shameful parts?  That's when we know we're hitting on exactly what needs to be said in order to heal ourselves and others.  When we can open up to what pains us, we can help others open up to their pain as well.  

Shame is the number one reason we shy away from the dark recesses of our memories.  We become ashamed of ourselves so much that we create coping mechanisms to block our memories of shame.  Buddhism calls these bits of shame that are tied up inside of us "fetters" or "knots".  When we can untie the knots, we become unburdened.  One way to untie these knots of shame is to open them up and inspect them and go through each one, exposing them for what they truly are: lies we were told about ourselves or lies that we created for ourselves because of the disapproval of others.  We lie to ourselves about being broken, bad, or terrible.  We aren't these things, but we all feel that we are due to abuse, teasing, or otherwise.  We are made to feel we are hard to love or don't deserve love.  We are told we are difficult or awful.  And when we hear these things, the rest just gets filled in by our own brains.  So we bind up these feelings, these "fetters" or "knots" inside of us, and use precious energy every single day to hide them, from both ourselves and others.  

Writing our memoir(s) help untie these knots.  Even funny memoirs.  It helps us to shed light in these dark recesses and instead of working hard to try to hide them all time.  It gives us a release.  A place to be real and authentically us.  Brene Brown talks about vulnerability in her Netflix show called "Call To Courage".  She talks about how important it is for us to be vulnerable because it's "the birthplace of things like love and joy".  We can't truly be happy in life unless we can be truly ourselves.  And the only way to be truly yourself, is to be vulnerable and honest (and honest about being vulnerable).  She also says "we can measure how brave you are by how vulnerable you're willing to be".  

Writing a memoir is courageous, all by itself.  But being completely vulnerable and honest in your memoir, without excuses?  Is being heroic, valiant, and noble (not that I think these things about myself, ha!).  The more vulnerable we are in our memoirs?  The more we help others realize just how human they really are.  That they aren't weird, strange, horrible, or awful.  They are human.  Just like you.  Just like me.  Just like everyone.  Those that that pretend they are perfect?  Are living in fear.  They are afraid of being exposed.  And while that's normal, too, they have no place writing a memoir.  At least not until they can come to terms with their humanity and are ready to do the work it takes to truly open up.  

So, what does being vulnerable mean? 

For one, it means honesty.  It means being honest with yourself and your readers that you aren't perfect.  It means that you make mistakes and don't mind looking silly or being judged (or at least you try not to mind) when someone reads about them.  It also means accepting responsibility for your actions in life.  And it means being open about your pain, your sorrow, your unkindnesses, and your follies.  It means to open up those raw spots of fear and be honest about how much they affect your life.  It means to show where your wounds lay upon your soul and how you go about tending to them.  It means to tell the world what you need, even if you never get it from anyone but yourself.  

Though it doesn't mean to tell others all your business, unless you're comfortable doing so.  It doesn't mean to share something that's still so raw inside of you that you can't access it without breaking down.  It doesn't mean to be self-defeating, out of fear that others won't like what you write unless you remind them you hate yourself.  Yes, you can tell them you hate yourself.  But don't hurt yourself in your memoir just to please the masses.  That's not true honesty.  True honesty is to show the parts others won't like and not give a shit if they like it or not.  It's not easy to do, especially if you're a guarded person, but you don't have to publish those parts (or publish at all), you just have to write them (and erase/burn/store etc. them after if you like).  Being honest on paper is the first step towards unburdening yourself of your pain. 

I'm not just talking about what happened to you.  I'm talking about how you felt about it, how it affected you, and most importantly, how it still affects you today.  And not only that, to investigate how you affected others in your life, too.  

It's scary, to put yourself out there.  It's scary to open yourself up to scrutiny.  But if it's going to emotionally and mentally hurt you to do so?  Then don't do it.  Wait.  Write something else.  But when you're ready to write about it, then do it.  Or write it and destroy it, so you're the only person who reads it.  Whatever you choose, it doesn't matter.  What matters is growth.  And the only way to grow is to be vulnerable in your life.  With yourself.  With others.  With writing.  With everything.  When you can untie those knots in your life, you become authentically you.  And what sounds better than that? 

Here is more about Brene Brown's Netflix special: 

https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/tv/2019/04/19/brene-brown-call-courage-netflix-vulnerability/3497969002/

https://writersinthestormblog.com/2019/05/top-10-success-tips-from-brene-brown/

And while these posts are about fiction, you can apply it to memoirs, too: 

https://www.helpingwritersbecomeauthors.com/why-self-conscious-writers-are-doomed/

https://writersinthestormblog.com/2019/05/dare-to-be-vulnerable-in-your-writing-life/

http://inspireportal.com/7-ways-to-embrace-your-vulnerability-and-write-your-truth/

https://herahub.com/resources/vulnerability-in-writing-and-storytelling/

If you're anything like me, than you'll probably have lived a life full of adventures and craziness.  If not, then you're subject and theme should be pretty easy to discern.  There's nothing wrong with having an easily themed life.  That makes writing a memoir so much easier.  But for the rest of us, who could write a hundred memoirs on a hundred subjects (and we should), it's so much harder to just pick one.  

I'm going to tell you to do exactly what I did (the first time it worked out for me): pick the one that's easy to write.  Writing about complicated things will take so much longer than writing the easy ones.  

How do you find out which one speaks to you the most and will be the easiest to write?  Here's a checklist that can help: 

• Make a list of all your adventures (or hardships).  You can group them by whatever category you like.  Then recategorize them several times.  Such as by age, by events, by locations, etc.  If you've already done the brainstorming we talked about earlier, then you have a whole slew of events to choose from.  If not, go back and do the list.  
• What is your overall theme you see going on in these stories?  Or at least in a majority of them.  Do you see all of them have to do with a certain person or certain people?  Or maybe your jobs?  Or maybe one job and how you got there?  Or maybe they all have to do with something you have, like cancer, depression, anxiety, some other disease or disorder.  What can you group the other stories into?  This will be your subject for your memoir.
• Now, take these stories and find the ending.  Are you facing death?  Losing your home?  Healing?  Etc.  What is the end story of all these stories?  Where do they culminate?  Or where do you want them to end?  How are you dealing with it?  This is your theme.  My theme for my first memoir was not just "all the narcissists I've known before", no, that was my subject.  My theme was how I moved on from them all.  How I healed by understanding them and letting their bad deeds lay where they were dealt.  Because I no longer needed to carry their pain with me anymore.  

Most people confuse subject and theme.  They think that their subject is enough.  "I was raped".  Or "I was homeless".  If you're just relaying what happened to you without any sort of resolution, then you're not writing a story.  Then you're just sharing information.  A story has a beginning, a middle, and an end.  Now, I still live with my narcissistic mother.  So there's no end in my book on that part.  But my theme is not about endings (though all the other narcs in my life I have cut ties with), but understanding and healing.  So the real story isn't about these people at all.  It's about me and how I learned to deal with these people.  It started with me being a child and how all these idiots' behaviors affected me throughout my life.  Then as I aged, I began to understand what was going on, so I could take all that blame I put on myself and put it all right back where it belonged: back on the people who dealt it out to begin with.  

So your story has have a progression from Point A (as in my story, innocence), to Point B (pain), ending at Point C (understanding).  The words in parentheses will be different (or the same) for you, but it still needs to have that progression for it be considered an actual story.  That's why your subject isn't enough.  You may get from Point A to Point B, but if there's no Point C, it's incomplete, and your readers will feel ripped off.  

So choose a theme.  If you were like me, and couldn't find a theme for twenty years, then you're writing the wrong story.  Or, maybe, it's the right story, but the wrong voice/tone.  Whatever it is, don't be afraid to go back to the drawing board and try again.  

Any questions on subject and theme?  Drop them below and happy writing! 

There are so many types of memoirs out there.  You can literally take your pick, but at the same time, you need to think "how will this style fit with the story I am trying to tell?"  

You can choose from ideas such as: 

1. Essays (like PZ Meyer's "The Happy Atheist" or Mindy Kaling's "Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?", several stories about several events, though with the same overarching theme)
2. Poetry and Prose (you can tell your story(ies) through poems of all kinds)
3. Graphic Memoir (graphic novel memoirs are so cool and one of the best, and only, I've ever read is "And Now I Spill the Family Secrets" by Margaret Kimball)
4. A story about a single event (slice of life)
5. Several stories about one event (like how you got from point A to point B)
6. Several stories about several events (kind of like essays, but more personal)
7. Stories about your family (how your family came to be, or the dysfunctional dynamics within it)
8. Travel (this is a more general style of memoir, though it depends on your experiences, it could be deeply personal, too)
9. Winning Against All Odds (a story about where you fought the man and you won! or something like that)
10. Fiction-Style (where you write your story like a fiction story, yet it's all true!)
11. Escape (did you escape a cult?  a bad relationship? a kidnapping?  a spaceship? people love a good escape story!)
12. Recovery (did you recover from a disease? addiction? abuse? writing this kind will help others who are still going through what you did see there is a light at the end of the tunnel)
13. Spiritual (how did you find peace in a world full of chaos?)
14. Mental Health (do you or someone you love have anxiety? agoraphobia? depression? schizophrenia? and how do you manage it?)
15. Creative: Yes, you could chronicle your creative journey, but more so what I'm talking about here is a way to create your memoir that's unusual or alternative in some way.  Check out my blog post on this here.  

Do you have an ache in your soul to get your life down on paper?  Maybe you want the world to read it, maybe you don't.  You just know you need to write it.  So, where to start?  

Today, I'm going to share with you the idea gathering exercises I use for my books (some are mine, some are ones I've read about).  So before you make the outline, before you get bogged down with a hundred ideas of what you want your memoir to be about, idea gathering exercises is where to start.  Because from these ideas you can create: chapter ideas, several memoir ideas, titles, and a ton of other great aspects to your book(s).  I set out to only write one.  But here, I am, knee deep in memoirs and insanity.  

So here's how I do it: 

1. The Massive Fact List

You can start in several ways.  If you already have a great subject and a great theme and now you just need ideas, skip this part (or, do it for fun!) and go to #2.  (this is adapted from a Toltec Recapitulation exercise)

Get out a big notebook that will only serve for your memoir writing.  This going to take awhile.  

A. Start with people.  Or places.  Doesn't matter.  You'll be doing both.  Start in early childhood.  Write down every single person you knew.  Then go to grade school.  The middle.  Then high school.  And beyond.  Write down jobs and all the people you knew at your jobs.  When I said this list is massive, I wasn't lying.  Every time you remember someone, jot them into your notebook.  

Another way to write down the people to take these headings at the top of each page in your journal (each get their own page, front and back), and use these categories: 

• Parents (if you have a lot to work out for each one, then create a page for each one)
• Children (our kids)
• Siblings (same as above)
• Relatives (2 pages-then on these pages create categories for each type of relative)
• Friends (depending on the amount of friends you had/have, you can make this several pages)
• Classmates (people you knew, but not called friends)
• Coworkers (categorized into specific jobs)
• Neighbors
• Others (like strangers and the such)

B. Then start the next section and write places and other things.  Draw maps in your notebook if you like.  Write down all the places you lived, played at, had important and not-so-important memories of.  WRITE IT ALL.  Chronologically is great, but you can add in different classifications, too as you see fit.  

If you want to use the categories, here are some to use:

• Places lived
• Pets I’ve had in my life
• Schools I went to
• Jobs I’ve had
• Groups I’ve belonged to
• Churches I’ve belonged to
• Hangouts/special places as a child/teen/adult
• Vehicles owned
• Money inherited/lost
• Court Battles
• Hobbies you’ve had
• Vacations taken as a child/teen/adult
• Accidents/violent crimes/assault 
• Surgeries
• Injuries/hurt I’ve caused others
• Crimes you’ve committed
• Other (you fill in specific places/incidents)

C. Then, when it's all filled out, go back and reach each one and see what weight each name, event, item, etc. carries for you.  Anything that springs an idea or a memory you want to capture, write it down. 

2. The Memory Idea List

Open up your notebook, and draw a big circle across the page and write a title across the middle.  Like "firsts" or "graduation weekend" or some other event (either general or specific).  Then just start writing memories as the pop up in each one.  On each page make a new circle with a new title in the middle and write out your memories.  

3. The Random Memory Book

Carry a notebook with you wherever you go in order to capture memories as they come to you.  

In the beginning of the notebook (or on your phone), number the chapters as so: 

1. Early childhood
2. Grade School
3. Middle School
4. High School
5. Young Adulthood

I am going to stress to you just how important it is to write in your own voice.  Do not invent a character to be the author of your story.  You are you.  So you have to write as you.  When I'm telling funny stories to my family and friends, I use the same tone, words, and profanity as I do when I write.  Now, when I'm writing a how-to or something inspirational? (like my informational posts on Girl Lost) I use my professional voice.  But when I write about my life, I use my voice.  No, I do not talk like that every single day.  But I do in moments everyday.  And usually when I'm trying to be funny.  When you write about you, use the voice you'd use when you'd tell the same stories to another person.  Because there is only one you.  And your voice?  Is part of your memoir.  It's part of your story.  It's who you are coming out on paper (or a screen, but same diff).  

You don't have to write in the voice you use every day, or you can.  But you should use a voice that represents your subject and theme.  My serious memoir, I do not swear in it.  It would be highly uncomfortable to write about something that's not funny and use a funny voice.  So choose your voice according to your subject and theme: your funny voice, your serious voice, your vulnerable voice, your nostalgic voice, your powerful voice, your inspirational voice, etc.   

Also, consider writing more than one book in the same voice.  That way those that read one of your books will assume that they will like most, if not all your books and will read them.  I make sure to write in my book descriptions what kind of voice I'm using.  If I'm writing in my funny/sweary voice, I mention that.  If I change up my voice for another book, I write that.  I don't want to disappoint my readers or trick them into buying my books.  Have you ever read a bunch of books by the same author, only to find that some of their books are a different genre or have something so different in them from the others that it just messes with your head and makes you hate it?  Yeah, don't do that to your readers.  Be honest with them.  I mean, these are memoirs, not works of fiction, so honesty is a given (or should be, I'm looking at you, you-know-who, the man who writes tons of memoirs, most of which are fiction, shame on you!).  

Your voice dictates your fanbase.  The only old people who would like my books are old people who awesome and swear a lot.  My fanbase as a whole are probably mostly women (and some cool dudes) who have dealt with drama from their families, who are full of NPD and who have a little bit of a more open personality, like me.  I'm not prim and proper, so those that are, probably will not enjoy my books.  If I wanted to reach those people, I should have picked a different voice to write in.  This is why voice matters.  Who do you want to reach?  People who are like you?  Or people who aren't?  It doesn't matter if some people don't like you and what you say.  What matters is that your writing is a reflection of you and who you are.  Your true fans, those that really understand what you're writing about and can connect to it, will find you and read what you have to say.  You just have to make sure to use the right voice. 

For years, I tried to write my first memoir.  I started and stopped at least twenty times.  And every single one was about my father.  Turns out, writing about him was hard, because I just couldn't connect to him or his story. But mostly, I was using the wrong voice (well, actually, I had the wrong subject and theme, which led to me using the wrong voice).  When I started writing my actual first one, I blew through that thing in less than a month.  I had enough to publish by then, but after, I kept finding more and more stories to add to it.  It was flowing through me like verbal diarrhea.  I couldn't stop writing!  Finally, I had found my voice AND the right subject and theme.  It became easy to just let the stories flow onto the paper from my mind.  I ended up with too many stories and had to cut some (which I'll share on this site).  That's never happened before, not even in my fiction writing!  

Finding the right voice for your story is pertinent.  And here's the best way to help you find it, are you ready??

Here it is:

Ask yourself, if this was made into a TV show (like "Everybody Hates Chris" or "Fresh Off the Boat"), how would you want it to be shown?  Do you want it to be funny like those two shows?  Or do you want it to be a serious miniseries or maybe a drama movie?  It's not about if these things would actually happen, it's imagining if they did, how do you want your life seen?  I always write my fiction as if it were a movie.  I imagine it playing out in my head as I write it (I am a very visual person...for example, if I'm trying to remember the way a word is spelled, I have to imagine it as a picture in order to visually "see" it for me to remember).  But when I write my memoirs, I write as though it were one day going to be made into a hilarious TV show (though sometimes I also think it would make a great 1970's country and western drama, like "Rhinestone Cowboy").  Imagine your life story on the screen and write it the way you want it to be seen by others.

It helps to "see" your life visually, as someone outside of yourself, in order to know if the way you're writing is working or not.  This way you can find the right voice to use (an again, I stress this greatly, use your voice, not a character you made up to tell your story--though we all have many voices in our daily lives: our mom/dad voice, our "comfortable" voice--the we use with those we feel the most comfortable with, our phone voice for paying bills or doctor's appointments, our work voice, our funny voice, our serious voice, our "teaching" voice, etc.--they are all us, so pick which one you want to use).  

Just like Maya Angelou said: "Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with deeper meaning".  You have to create the meaning in your words.  You have to let the readers see through your eyes.  And your voice is how you do that.  

Any questions or suggestions?  Drop them below :)